Three subtle ways in which you are told you should stop being an immigrant and how to respond

1. You introduce yourself, and the other person fails to say anything that sounds even remotely close your name after three attempts. Then he/she makes it seem like he/she is physiologically incapable of pronouncing foreign names and leaves it up to you to come up with some domestic alternative he/she could use.

Incorrect response: "No worries, you are perfectly capable of saying my name, It just takes goodwill."
Correct response: You make up some name and say that that's the domestic version of your name.

2. You introduce yourself, and the other person says: "That's like Frederick, right? Can I call you Frederick?"

Incorrect response: "No, because that's not my name".
Correct response: "Sure."

3. You say your child's name, and the other person says: "Oh, that's different." But, he/she never tells you what it's different from.

Incorrect response: You explain that the very purpose of names is for them to be different from other names so we can distinguish between things. Otherwise, if names were the same, we would have only one name for everything.
Correct response: "Yeah." And then you say something apologetic that makes it sound like you weren't thinking straight when you chose that name.


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